Bob McCarty Writes

(ST. LOUIS) — Every year, millions of mustard lovers around the world are left out in the cold as others celebrate Cinco de Mayo, according to Ralph Long

Long, president of the St. Louis-based nonprofit, Mustard Lovers Everywhere (a.k.a., “MuLE“) believes its time for mustard lovers to unite and show their support for the much-maligned condiment by participating in CINCO DE MUSTARD events at locations nationwide during the first week of May.

Sure, we expect the mayo lovers to sling mud in our direction, but we stand firm in our resolve,” Long said. “During the first week of May, you’ll see mustard — instead of mayonnaise — everywhere. Mustard will rule!”

Through a combined effort, Long said he believes mustard connoisseurs can bring a swift end to decades of discrimination against their kind. He invites readers to show their support for thru the purchase of one of the fine CINCO DE MUSTARD items available in the CINCO DE MUSTARD section of The Bob McCarty Shop.

For more information about the campaign, click here.

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[Editor’s Note:  In case you’re wondering, the post above is fiction for humor’s sake.  The merchandise, however, is real.]