Bob McCarty Writes

In a post earlier today, I informed readers of Bob McCarty Writes about singer Sheryl Crow’s idea of limiting toilet paper usage to only one square per visit. Now, after pondering the subject for a while, I want to publicly endorse a “two-ply” approach: Liberals like Crow can use the single-square method while while conservatives like me continue to use fistfuls of Charmin as we deem fit.

You see, while I’m not willing to flush my conservative values down the toilet, I’m likewise not the type to deny Crow and her liberal, global-warming-alarmist friends the right to wipe as they see fit. It’s the American way!

In the end (pardon the pun), this new liberal approach to personal hygiene — or lack thereof — will benefit conservatives. We’ll be able to identify single-sheet-wiping liberals in almost any situation.

Still flushing this one out. More later…