Bob McCarty Writes

It’s all over the web today — news about a once-considered military project to build a bomb that, according to one news report, would turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Called the “Gay Bomb” by some and the “Hormone Bomb” by others, the now-rejected weapon — or, to be more exact, weapon proposal — was part of a military effort to develop “strong aphrodisiacs” for use as non-lethal weapons in armed conflicts. Apparently, the thinking was that the enemy combatants would be too distracted by their hormone-induced state of mind to wage combat effectively.

Despite the fact that the military dismissed the idea quickly, according to reports, the concept made me wonder what other kinds of “bombs” could be developed for healthy civilian uses. I came up with some interesting concepts that could be developed to improve life in these United States. For instance:

• Shut-Up-and-Act Bombs could be detonated over Hollywood movie sets, talk-show studios, award-show stages and other public venues frequented by actors. As a result, film-industry professionals might finally keep their mouths closed when discussions turned to political issues about which they have absolutely no knowledge or expertise.

• Shut-Up-and-Sing Bombs could be detonated over concert stages and other music venues, prompting musicians and singers to concentrate on their music instead of spouting political messages related to topics about which they typically share no insights or opinions of value.

• Shut-Up-and-Play Bombs could be detonated in the vicinity of sports venues, thereby causing athletes to focus on their athletic performance rather than fight, dance in end zones, ham it up for cameras and/or make comments that do little to foster sportsmanship and fun.

• Shut-Up-and-Serve-Your-Constituents Bombs could be detonated over capitol buildings in every state capitol and in Washington, D.C., causing elected officials to shift their priorities and concentrate on the needs of their constituents instead of the needs of special interest groups and lobby groups.

I’m sure there are many more ways such technology could be used for the public good. If you come up with any, be sure to share them with us in the comments section below this post.

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