Bob McCarty Writes

Some folks these days think Wal-Mart is too big, too unfriendly to its workers and/or too reliant on cheap goods and services from China. Well, whether you like Wal-Mart or not, you have to admit one thing: the company makes money –- and lots of it!

I’ve read Wal-Mart’s even trying to get into banking, real estate, minor emergency clinics and other business ventures. The scary thing is they’ll probably do well in those areas, too. But can you imagine what would happen if Wal-Mart ventured into some other non-traditional businesses?

For instance, what if Wal-Mart began operating casinos? You’d have cocktail waitresses walking around wearing those little blue vests that say “May I help you?” on the back. And the slogan for the Wal-Mart Casino TV and radio spots:

“The Loosest Slots…Always!”

And what if Wal-Mart ventured into the senior-living industry –- you know, nursing homes and retirement centers? Wal-Mart could offer its senior-citizen residents ten-percent discounts on monthly rent in exchange for working 80 hours a week at the store. It’s a match made in heaven!

Finally, I have two key pieces of evidence that prove Wal-Mart is already heavily involved in a project to produce the first human clone:

The first clue is that they have all the money a scientist could possibly need to fund this type of project; and

The second clue can be found inside a typical Wal-Mart store. One look at some of the “customers” there and you’ll be convinced, “Some of those people just can’t be human!”*

***

*Before you send any flame-mail or post heated comments, please know I frequently shop at Wal-Mart and probably fit my own description of Wal-Mart customers as offered in the last sentence above.