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As of 12-31-08
While driving home from the airport yesterday, I encountered a colorful and festive sticker on the back bumper of a car in front of me. It’s message, “SANTA IS A TEAMSTER,” activated my skeptic nerve and prompted me to ask the question, “Why would Santa Claus join a labor union?”
Before I could answer that question with any sense of authority, I felt I needed to learn more about the union officially known as the International Brotherhood of Teamsters. So I typed “Teamsters” in the search block at Wikipedia.com.
What I learned at the online repository of data appears in boldface in the bullet points below. Inside parentheses next to it, I’ve added my thoughts that lead to the conclusion stated in the headline above:
The Teamsters union was formed in 1903 (Makes me wonder how Santa Claus managed things during the previous 17 centuries of his existence.);
The Teamsters’ logo (above right) contains horses (Santa Claus would never buy into the beliefs of an outfit that allows horses — not reindeer — to appear in its corporate logo.);
The Teamsters’ history is pock-marked by the influence of organized crime (Watch Miracle on 34th Street, a film that offers a good representation of the moral character of Santa Claus, and you’ll be convinced that the jolly fat man wouldn’t have anything to do with criminal types.); and, finally,
The Teamsters lost its president, Jimmy Hoffa, in 1975 (Santa Claus would never lend his time, talent or treasure (a.k.a., union dues) to an outfit so careless that it loses its leader. During 17 centuries of work, the red-suited wonder has never lost a single package.).
Cast aside any of the explanations above and one indisputable fact remains as to why Santa Claus would never join the Teamsters: He’s management!
Merry Christmas!
* * *
Disclaimer #1: Like most red-blooded Americans with Midwest roots, I believed in the existence of Santa Claus until I convinced otherwise by my five older siblings at age 5.
Disclaimer #2: Like most hard-line conservatives, however, I believed for most of my adult life that labor unions were a largely-unnecessary remnant of America’s past. I expected to maintain that view forever. Unexpectedly, however, my wife began a new career that requires membership in a labor union as a condition of employment. As a result, I’ve warmed up to the value of labor unions — but only slightly — during the past few years. So please keep any hate mail to yourself on this one.
* * *
Editor’s Note: Visit LaborPains.org for an article discussing the post above.
5 responses so far ↓
1 Tom // Dec 14, 2007 at 6:48 am
As a Teamster member and working on a job for over 20 years, 10 of it without the union and the rest with it, I will testify that Labor Unions are a necessity. Working class America would not where it is today without them. Wages and benefits are only kept to a standard in non-union (scab) companies because Unionized labor groups in the same industries keep that standard up. For example UPS vs FEDEX, FEDEX only makes the money and has the benefits they have because if they do not the employees will Unionize, I guess this could be viewed as riding on the backs of the Unionized groups. I am appalled by this analogy about Santa, I believe he is a supporter of Unions, he makes it to my house every year and says so! ! !
2 hotoffthepress2 // Dec 14, 2007 at 7:47 am
Tom — You’re wrapped around the axle way too tight. Calling non-union companies “scabs” reflects more negatively upon you (and union shops) than it does upon them. Plus, did you read disclaimer #2 at the end of the post? I’m married to a union girl!
3 Tom // Jan 6, 2008 at 3:12 pm
I’m not wrapped that tight, you are the one that put your comments on this site. Maybe you should look in the mirror and ask the question who is wound tight? Just because you are married to a Union member does not make you a supporter and it certainly does not make you a Union member. It is evident by your comments that you are not a supporter, but you are one of those that likes to reap the benefits that Unions negotiates. It seems to me that you would probably cross a picket line also, otherwise you would not sympathize with “scabs”.
4 hotoffthepress2 // Jan 6, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Tom — I w-i-l-l t-y-p-e s-l-o-w-l-y s-o y-o-u c-a-n u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d w-h-a-t I i-n-c-l-u-d-e-d i-n t-h-e l-a-s-t l-i-n-e o-f m-y d-i-s-c-l-a-i-m-e-r a-b-o-v-e: “…p-l-e-a-s-e k-e-e-p a-n-y h-a-t-e m-a-i-l t-o y-o-u-r-s-e-l-f o-n t-h-i-s o-n-e.”
5 Santa Claus // Mar 16, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Santa Claus is a union member: Screen Actors Guild, American Federation of Television and Radio Artistrs, and Writers Guild of America, west.
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