Bob McCarty Writes

Thanks to Miss Cellania, a new addition to my blogroll, I found a site offering to provide me an answer to the question, “How many five year olds could I take in a fight?” All I had to do, the site’s owner explains, is complete a short survey.

Results are based on physical prowess, training, swarm-combating experience, and the flexibility of your moral compass. Here are the ground rules:

• You are in an enclosed area roughly the size of a basketball court
• There are no weapons or foreign objects
• Everyone is wearing a cup (so no kicks to the groin)
• The children are merciless and will show no fear
• If a child is knocked unconscious, he is “out.” The same goes for you.

To find out how many “rug rats” you could whip in a fight, simply click on the image above right and take the survey.

FYI: I took the survey and learned I can take 20 of ‘em (as shown in the graphic), obviously the result of raising three boys and coaching many basketball, soccer and baseball teams over the years. Please know, however, that I do not encourage anyone to actually pick a fight with a horde of pint-size people. Someone might get hurt. Worse yet, they might cry. Or you might cry. So don’t do it.