Bob McCarty Writes

Below, I offer a twisted look at some of this morning’s headlines:

Florida wants to regulate amount of toilet paper in bathrooms — Expect Sheryl Crow to weigh in on this matter. One square-per visit should be enough, right?

Iowa Town Offers Bounty on Stray Cats — Shouldn’t that be New York Town Offers Bounty on Stray Cats (a.k.a., Eliot Spitzer)?

Short sleepers more likely to be fat: Japanese study — Are tall sleepers more likely to be skinny?

Woman, Cat Shared Staph Bug — For what, dinner?