Bob McCarty Writes

By Skunkfeathers, Guest Blogger

Editor’s Note: The post below appeared at the Skunkfeathers blog April 1, but is a 100-percent-true example of how this blogger toys with e-mail scammers via — you guessed it — e-mail. It appears, mostly unedited by me, in order to preserve the unique writing style the blogger uses to torment those who first tried to torment him. Enjoy…

And she shore has some anatomy…zadda bow bow.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is a lesson in Scamming 101: The Russian Bride Angle.

It starts with an unsolicited letter, just like this ‘un:

From: Hotpink Flower (arthurvelasquez35 (at) yahoo.co.uk)

To: cowboyzipper (at) yahoo.com (don’t ask me; ain’t my email addy)

Subj: Glad to hear you (what, I’m breathing that hard and loud?)

Hi! I’m a single girl and I’m 26 years. Please take a look at my pictures and let me know if you like them (guys, if you say you don’t, you’re dead or gay). I live in Russia and I’m going to come to your country and work over there very soon! I don’t know anybody over there and I thought it would be great to meet someone who is open to anything as I am (like being taken for a fiscal ride). I would be happy to be friends, lovers or create a serous relationship! We will see what happens! I hope you write to me back and I will write more info about myself and send more photos (already I am liking this scammer, and she goes on)!!! I am writing from my friend’s email (aka, her scam handler) so please make sure you do not reply directly to this email. Email me at bangelaiu4 (at) yahoo.co.uk only. if you don’t use my personal email back then I won’t be able to read your reply and write you back. So it is very important that you get it right (so she can keep her various pidgeons separate). Ok, I guess it is now your turn (to tell her if you’re a dupe or not). Hope to hear from you today. Bye! Anna.

Foist:

1. If it’s an unsolicited letter like the above, almost without exception, it’s a scam. How’d they get your email address? By mining online locations where someone might have left an email address to get a response or further information. Guestbooks is a popular mining ground for all sorts of online scammers.

2. The originating email address, if replied to, more often than not bounces.

3. The wrong email address in the “Sent to” header: there are probably a dozen or more other email addresses BCCed here that won’t show up, but explain why my email addy received a copy of this lil’ gem. It’s a spammed scam letter, going out to as many addys as possible. If the scammer/stress receives multiple replies, her reply email addy will change for some of them, allowing her/her handlers to keep ‘em all straight…or not, as upcoming examples will show.

4. Naturally, she’s going to start out with pictures that are most assuredly going to get a “yowza, badda bing” out of male recipients, as these two gems got outta me. The photos are most certainly not of who is writing, but are meant to get a typical male response.

5. You’ll note that she closed out the solicitation with the name of ‘Anna’. If you reply, and she likes your reply (aka, *I got me a capitalist pig sucker!*), the name will almost always change. Sometimes, more than once. That comes later, when they are trying to juggle more than one intended victim.

How do I know all this? Simple: this is about the 12th to 15th time in the past 18 months that I have received this very same opening solicitation. Always from a different address, to a different address, with a slightly different story, but always with the same quality of eye-catching (and blood-shifting) photos of exceptionally beautiful, usually 24-26 year old Russian women. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads…..and all, breath-takingly stunning.

*Game on*

Anna,

Wow…I mean, how do you do, Ma’am. You are..well, if I may speak coherently with my blood supply trying to support two heads, you are absolutely drop-dead gorgeous, with the drop-dead part being highly relevant in my current circumstances. You are the most beautiful woman I have seen this week! Yes, by all means, write me back! I am so all over hearing more about you, Anna!Sincerely,

J. C. Howard (if anyone could ‘raise the dead’, so to speak, this hyar one could!)

Now, a reply doesn’t always come immediately: depending on how many suitors (aka, suckers) ‘Anna’ has managed to draw on the opening salvo, she’ll probably work them, one to a few at a time. But if her handler adjudges your reply to be sincere (aka, playable), then she will get to you. On this occasion, it took ‘Anna’ exactly two weeks to respond to ol’ JC. And with more of those photos (next installment), and a new name, too.

* * *

This story continues at Part II, Part III, Part IV and Part V.

For more laughs, read The Dubious Return of Aesop’s Fables.