Bob McCarty Writes

I am not joking! According to an ABCNews.com article, Preparation H Finds Place in Club Circuit, Preparation H is the new drug of choice among men at New York City night clubs.

No, there hasn’t been an inexplicable spike in the number of male night club patrons afflicted with hemorrhoids. Instead, as writer Lauren Cox reports, one New York bouncer, blogger and author Rob Fitzgerald has noticed a trend among many of the macho young men waiting outside his clubs. He says the guys are slathering up their torsos with the hemorrhoid cream Preparation H to make themselves look “ripped” for the ladies.

If the practice seems harmless, warnings from a real medical doctor that appear in the article might cause you to think twice before lathering your midsection. Those warnings end — no pun intended — with this statement:

“It’s not designed to cover the whole area of your chest. It’s designed to cover a small part of your rear end.”

The name of that small part might also be used to describe the night club patrons who use Preparation H — pun intended.