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Ten Ways the Funeral Industry Might Change

June 9th, 2008 · No Comments

Being a middle-aged man, I think about end-of-life things more often than I once did and it shows up in this blog. Last week, I stumbled upon a way to realize funeral cost savings of $900 by purchasing simple wooden caskets. Today, I stumbled upon a BRANDWEEK article highlighting how some people — including Star Trek fans — are taking more of a no-holds-barred approach. I think I’ll wrap up this topic for awhile by offering Ten Ways the Funeral Industry Might Change If New Players Get Involved

  • Amazon® would ship your coffin directly to you doorstep;
  • American Airlines® would make a big deal out of offering the deceased person more leg room;
  • Apple® would include a free iPod® to accompany the deceased person on his final journey;
  • Disney® would run television spots featuring recently-deceased celebrities answering the question, “Now that you’ve died, what’s next for you?” with “I’m going to Disneyworld!”
  • Jack Daniel® would offer stiff drinks to each and every customer;
  • MySpace® would offer social networking plots;
  • Nintendo® would create virtual graveside environments through the use of virtual reality and Wii® controllers that feel like casket handles;
  • Oprah® would give free caskets to every member of her studio audience;
  • The Big Three automakers would bury themselves;
  • Wal-Mart® would bury their competition; and
  • WeightWatchers® would offer burial as a permanent weight-loss solution.
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