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Fast-Food Giant Helps Recruit Future Spies

July 21st, 2008 · No Comments

Spies, spooks and others involved in the gathering and collection of intelligence data are in high demand these days as employees of a nation engaged in a difficult and dangerous Global War on Terror. Thanks to a soon-to-be-launched promotion by McDonald’s, efforts to recruit new civilian and military intelligence agency employees might get a little bit easier.

According to a news release this afternoon, participating Golden Arches restaurants will offer Spy Gear gadgets with the purchase of Happy Meals or Mighty Kids Meals between July 25 and Aug. 14. Kids will be able to embark on imaginative spy missions using six new toys offered exclusively by the global fast-food giant:

  • The Secret Wrist Beam is a wrist-mounted gadget that transforms to reveal a bright red laser-like light;
  • The Spy Guard Motion Alarm is a pad-lock-styled alarm with siren to scare away intruders;
  • The Spy Disc Defender is a hand-held disc shooter; discs are launched from a secret storage compartment beneath a flip-top lid;
  • The Invisible Message Pen is a pocket-sized covert communication system with one invisible ink pen and one revealer pen;
  • The Rear View Spy Scope functions as two tools in one, serving as a magnification lens to see distant objects close-up and as a pop-out mirror to monitor what’s going on behind you; and
  • The Mobile Message Bot is a rev-and-release vehicle that automatically pops its top to reveal encrypted messages, readable only by the spy facing the device.

During the upcoming three-week promotion, I fully expect liberal, anti-gun types in places like San Francisco to mount protests against the McDonald’s effort and cite anti-violence and anti-war talking points provided by the Democrat Party.

Conversely, I will not protest. Instead, I’ll do two things:

  • I’ll hope and pray that this McDonald’s effort, whether intentional or not, might plant a tiny seed in a child’s mind that one day prompts him to consider a future of service as a member of our nation’s clandestine services; and
  • I’ll purchase a Happy Meal at McDonald’s.
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