Bob McCarty Writes

During the past three decades, the federal government has spent billions to bail out organizations in crisis.  For several reasons, I now believe the time has arrived for me to become the first blogger ever to seek a bailout from the federal government.

First of all, my once-rich Uncle Sam has bailed out nearly everyone else — beginning with Chrysler in 1979 and continuing through to American International Group this week — and I think it’s about time for him to think about me.

Unlike those who’ve preceded me in walking up the steps of the U.S. Capitol, hat in hand, I’m not asking for hundreds of millions or tens of billions of dollars.  Heck, I’d be satisfied with a fraction of that — let’s say ten-million bucks.  In the grand scheme of things, that’s not a lot of money, and giving it to me makes about as much sense as giving it to Chrysler or AIG.

With ten-million dollars, I could do something impulsive, such as purchasing the domain name, eSarahPalin.com, via Sheldon Filger’s auction on eBay or I could do something more fiscally-prudent such as paying my mortgage, paying my sons’ college expenses or launching an advertising campaign that promotes t-shirts and other merchandise available at The Bob McCarty Shop.*

So, if you’re a member of Congress or know one well enough to speak on my behalf, please forward my request for bailout funds.  If you’re successful in obtaining the funds I seek, let me know and I’ll take you to lunch or send you a free t-shirt — your choice!

*Note: The auction ends today at 2:34 p.m. Central, so I will need the government to act quickly if I am to take advantage of this time-sensitive opportunity.