"Yikes! I Might Be...Militia!"
As a follow-up to the popularity of his oft-e-mailed solution to the nation’s economic crisis (a.k.a., “The Birk Plan”), T.J. Birkenmeier rolled up his sleeves, burned the midnight oil and went back to the drawing board. The result is a “New and Improved Birk Plan!”
According to a post published yesterday at The Wise Buddha-hahahaha, the St. Louis blogger’s new plan involves the following six easy steps:
Step One: We rename the dime.
Step Two: We now call the dime the dollar.
Step Three: Now everyone has 10 times as much money. (Do the math…I did)
Step Four: Everyone will have 6-working days to pay off their debts, invest in the stock market or buy all that really cool stuff you always wanted but could never afford.
Step Five: On the 7th day at the stroke of midnight, we rename the dollar the dime.
Step Six: At sunrise, we start all over. It’s kind of like Financial Cinderella…we all get to go to the Ball…but at the stroke of midnight the coach goes back to being a pumpkin and the dollar goes back to being the dime. We go back to our day job. And Congress goes back to business as usual.
T.J. Birkenmeier
“Sure this is a crazy idea that will “never work,” he writes, adding, “I’ll be anxious to see what the NEW and IMPROVED ‘Bailout/Rescue/Buy-in/American Taxpayer Future Dividend’ Plan that Congress comes up with will look like” and “I’ll bet Congress won’t come up with anything nearly as exciting as my NEW and IMPROVED Birk Plan.”
Once again, thanks for rising to the occasion on this occasion.
6 responses so far ↓
1 simpletonmathagain // Oct 4, 2008 at 11:01 pm
So, using the NewDollar, I could buy a $65,000 car for $6,500??? Not quite, the price tag would be $650,000, wouldn’t it? A change for the buyer is a change for the seller. So back to the cellar (I reckon that’s where the drawing board is), Birk!
2 Sam Jones // Oct 9, 2008 at 1:48 pm
The second idiotic plan from this moron. Will this guy just shut up? He has no clue what he is talking about. First he gets simple math COMPLETELY wrong, which does point out a fatal flaw in the countries math skills, seeing how many times it was reposted/forwarded/etc.
And now he comes up with a completely worthless plan, for what? To make it appear that his first plan was a joke and that he wasn’t a moron?
Come on. Why is anyone still blogging about this pathetic loser.
3 hotoffthepress2 // Oct 9, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Sam Jones — You might be interested in the subliminal content about which know one was made aware: It prompts people with low IQs to seek out blogs where they can post comments extremely critical of posts related to The Birk Plan. Oops!
4 Gnibs // Oct 14, 2008 at 8:59 am
While I agree Birenmeier’s plans are idiotic, I think with a little more research one would find out he is trying to illustrate the absurd by being absurd. Oh, and Mr. Jones I think your reference to our ‘countries math skills’ as opposed to our ‘country’s math skills’ helps to illustrate how lacking our countries education system as whole; including grammar is lacking.
We don’t need to calling people idiots and tell them to shut up. ‘Let he without stupidity cast the first scroll!’
5 hotoffthepress2 // Oct 14, 2008 at 9:07 am
Gnibs — Great observations. By the way, the grammar in the next-to-last sentence of your comment leaves a bit to be desired.
6 Birk // Jul 18, 2009 at 2:31 pm
It never ceases to amaze me that folks like Sam Jones don’t get it.
Helloooo…Sammy, the name of the Birk Blog is
The Wise Buddha-hahahaha, alone in my mind without adult supervision.
The blog is about political parody, irony, satire and yes…ridiculing cynicism when the situation calls for it.
I’m really sorry that you don’t get it. It must be hard to go through life as a humorless, self-aggrandizing pettifogger.
Have an exceptional day in your head!
Birk
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