‘LIVE RAID’ Concerts to Benefit Somali Pirates (Updated)

Bob Geldof announced today that, on July 13, he will stage the first of a series of 12 “LIVE RAID” concerts to benefit Somali pirates.

In much the same way his 1985 “LIVE AID” concerts raised funds for famine relief in Ethiopia, Geldof said the “LIVE RAID” events will benefit the Muslim pirates who, in order to make a living in a tough economy, have been forced to hijack cargo and merchant ships traveling off the coast of the East African nation and hold their crews for ransoms.

“Obviously, the Somali pirates are victims of a global economic collapse that has left millions across the African continent to suffer,” Geldof said.

Geldof said he plans to hold the first “LIVE RAID” concert at London’s Wembley Stadium exactly 24 years to the day after the first “LIVE AID” event was held there.  Eleven other concerts will be held in coastal cities around the world, with the final event taking place in Somalia’s capitol city, Mogadishu, July 13, 2010.

“I think it’s appropriate to mark the 25th anniversary of “LIVE AID” by holding the final “LIVE RAID” concert in Mogadishu,” Geldof explained.  “After the concert, we plan to hand over to the leader of the Somali pirate consortium a check that we expect will provide more than enough money to make it possible for all of the pirates to support themselves and their families for years.

“As a result of this worldwide effort,” Geldof concluded, “I think we can make looting and pillaging on the high seas a thing of the past.”

Who will contribute to the effort?

Geldof said he expects to secure “sizable contributions” to “LIVE RAID” from owners of the world’s largest cruise, cargo and container shipping lines, since it will be to their benefit to bring an end to piracy. In addition, he said he’s been assured by both President Barack Obama and leaders in Congress he can expect to receive at least $1.3 trillion dollars in federal assistance prior to the first concert.

Individuals around the world will also be able to support “LIVE RAID” by buying a CD and/or DVD made especially for the effort.  Using donated musical equipment as well as donated Apple computers and Garage Band software, Geldof explained that a “virtual supergroup” of people who understand the oppressed-pirate mindset are collaborating on an updated version — or, as Geldof joked, “pirated version” — of the 1985 song, “We Are the World,” written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie and produced and conducted by Quincy Jones. The title of the new song, “We ARRRR Ye World.”

Geldof said the music video of the song will feature collaborators performing in full pirate regalia.

The list of individuals involved includes three Chicagoans:  former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, convicted felon/Obama neighbor Antoin “Tony” Rezko and entertainment juggernaut Oprah Winfrey.

They’ll be backed up by a choir that includes actor Sean Penn, entertainers Barbara Streisand and Stevie Wonder and talk show hosts Bill Maher and Jon Stewart.  Also involved are several notable scam artists, including Wall Street Ponzi scheme operator Bernie Madoff, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.), Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), House Banking Committee Chairman Barney Frank (D-Mass.) and several other members of Congress.

Tickets for the concert will go on sale at all Ticketmaster and Live Nation locations this week.

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UPDATE 4/13/2009 at 1:49 p.m. Central: I just learned about a celebrity fundraiser via which $5 million was raised for the oppressed Somali pirates.  See Celebs Sport Eye Patches in Solidarity with Pirates.

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EDITOR’S NOTE: In case you haven’t figured it out yet, the post above is not true.  Combine all of the havoc and mischief Somali pirates have wrought on the world’s shipping lanes with the lack of common sense displayed by so many liberals in the worlds of entertainment, media and politics, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see someone pickup this far-fetched idea of mine and run with it one day soon.

4 thoughts on “‘LIVE RAID’ Concerts to Benefit Somali Pirates (Updated)

  1. I knew this was satire when I read the first line. NOBODY, not even the far left, is that stupid. But just in case they are, maybe you better copywrite the idea, heh

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