Bob McCarty Writes

Morning headlines offer hodge podge of news:

• Bird, Swine, Human Flu-Mix Sickens 7 in Calif., Texas — If this isn’t bio-terrorism, I’ll eat my hat.*

• Bronx Zoo evicting hundreds of animals – Now, the question is, “Will they be deported back to their countries of origin?”  If the system for animals works anything like the system for people, hundreds of wild animals will be roaming the streets of New York for months — and perhaps years — until their deportation hearings take place.

• Entrepreneurs Cut Own Pay to Stay Alive — Thirty percent of 727 small-business owners and managers surveyed by American Express Co.’s small-business services division said recently that they were no longer taking a salary.  How’s that for “hope and change.”

• France at “risk of revolution” — Not to worry, though.  They’ll surrender to each other before any real violence occurs.

• Scientists Invent Germ-Killing Wall Paint — Big deal.  The Chinese have “lead” the way in killer paint for years.

• White House Seeks Credit-Card Reform — Instead of worrying about Americans getting screwed by credit card companies, President Barack Obama and his cronies need to cut up the no-limit “card” they’ve been using to enslave countless future generations to a sea of debt.

*Note: In reality, I won’t eat my hat if it turns out that we’re under a bio-terror attack.  I’m only saying I will for dramatic impact.