Bob McCarty Writes

Though speaking almost one year apart, King Abdullah II of Saudi Arabia Jordan and President Barack Obama seem to have a penchant for the concept of 57 states.

In a TimesOnline article this morning about prospects of Middle East peace, Saudi Arabia Jordan’s king was quoted by writer Richard Beeston as saying, “This is not a two-state solution, it is a 57-state solution” — a reference to the number of nations of the United Nations that do not recognize Israel.  It comes almost one year after then-candidate Obama referred to having visited 57 states during his presidential campaign (see video below).

Knowing this country has only 50 states, I conducted research soon after Obama made his statement and discovered the following explanations for his seven mystery states:

• Not to be confused with his home state of Illinois, the STATE OF CONFUSION is the place where President Obama leaves many of his liberal followers who, during the weeks since the election, have expressed dismay over the positions he’s taken and the people he’s selected to become high-ranking members of his administration.  The coin at left depicts confused Obama supporters wondering where their “change” went.

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• Though Barack Obama won’t admit it, the STATE OF DENIAL (a.k.a., “Russia”) is where many of his radical left-wing socialist ideas have their roots.  The coin at right shows Obama wearing a Russian fur hat while still in denial about his political leanings.

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• Many Americans find themselves in the STATE OF OF DISBELIEF after learning that a U.S. senator and Harvard Law School graduate thinks spending more than $1 trillion is the solution to the nation’s economic crisis.  The coin at left shows a typical American taxpayer trying unsuccessfully to make Obama’s match work.

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• The STATE OF DISCONTENT is home to bitter churchgoers who do little beyond sitting at home and clinging to their guns and religion.  The coin at right shows how those bitter-clinging people of faith feel about their new commander-in-chief.

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• Home to people who find Obama’s empty promises so appealing, the STATE OF EUPHORIA has two state mottos:  “Hope” and “Change.”  The coin at left shows the Obama campaign flag and the hammer-and-sickle flag flying over the nation’s capitol.

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• Though Obama is not welcome in the STATE OF ISRAEL and wishes it didn’t exist, he has reportedly entered the Jewish homeland — accompanied by Jimmy Carter and members of Hamas — through underground tunnels that connect the Jewish state with Gaza.  The coin shown at right shows how Obama hopes Israel will look in the future (i.e., “gone”).

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• Finally, the STATE OF SHOCK is the state in which Americans find themselves after experiencing a rapid and precipitous decline in the standard of living to which they became accustomed during the Ronald Reagan years.  The coin at left shows a typical American family in shock after “adjusting” to their new lifestyle under Obama’s rule Administration.

To obtain your very own t-shirt or other item featuring designs from “Barack Obama’s Seven Mystery States Coin Collection,” click here.

Coin designs by My Personal Litmus

Correction: I got my kings confused as it was unclear in Beeston’s piece as to whether he was speaking with the king of Saudi Arabia or Jordan.  It turns out that it was the latter.  I regret the error (but not much).

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