Bob McCarty Writes

“Financial comfort in an uncertain economy.”

That was the headline of a news release I read this morning for something called “The Mattress Wallet.”

At first blush, I suspected the news release was either a promotion for some kind of financial advice seminar.  Then I thought it might be something individuals could use to literally keep money under their mattresses (bad idea).

Then I read the news release:

As the global economic crisis continues, investors are looking for the next sure thing. It’s well known that the safest place to put your hard earned money is in a mattress. But a mattress can be very difficult to carry around and sometimes your loved ones throw them away. The Mattress Wallet, introduced today, addresses these issues.

The Mattress Wallet provides savvy investors with a secure and comfortable place to put their money. The Mattress Wallet measures approximately 3.5″ x 4″ when folded, the same size as a standard wallet and is well-suited for international currencies as well as U.S. dollars. No detail has been overlooked down to the ubiquitous warning tag that should not be removed under penalty of law. Its cream-colored quilting features a subtle paisley pattern, bordered with fine satin trim that conforms to the shape of your body. No box spring wallet is required.

Debt is a critical part of most American’s financial planning, which is why The Mattress Wallet can hold at least 8 credit cards. The interior pockets are made of waterproof latex with satin detail and come with a supply of Mattress Wallet Deposit Slips. The Mattress Wallet packaging includes plenty of money-wise advice including, comparison graphs — The Mattress Wallet vs. The Stock Market and The Mattress Wallet vs. Traditional Ponzi Scheme. It also includes other sound investing parables such as “The money you put in, is the money you take out.”

Phil Converse, J.D., President of Balanced Accounts Company and a Mattress Wallet enthusiast, notes, “I consider this to be a quick and easy fix to at least one aspect of the financial crisis. Maybe two.”

Available exclusively at www.themattresswallet.com, The Mattress Wallet sells for $19.95 plus shipping and can be mailed anywhere in the world.

Will I buy The Mattress Wallet? Perhaps, but I’ll have to sleep on it first.

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