Bob McCarty Writes

[Editor's Note: In a post published Oct. 24, 2008, I described what Halloween 2009 would be like for American children if Barack Obama became the nation's 44th president.  In light of the fact that the community organizer from Illinois went on to win the election, I've decided to republish an updated version of that post below.]

I’m not a big fan of Halloween, but I have some advice for those of you who expect to allow your children to take part in the ritual of trick-or-treating:  Use the five guidelines listed below and allow the 2009 version of the costume- and candy-intensive holiday to serve as a teachable moment about socialism and about “spreading the wealth around” in the manner touted so often by President Barack Obama:

1.  Tell your child he cannot eat any of the candy he collects and will, instead, have to take all of it to the ACORN office nearest your home (wipe tears);

2.  Tell your child he will have to turn over their bags full of candy to the government-authorized agents who, in addition to collecting the candy, will need to record his name, Social Security number and contact information for future use (wipe tears);

3.  Tell your child he will have to wait 12 weeks for ACORN officials to count all of the candy he collected and repackage it for equal-share redistribution among all children in their community (wipe tears);

4.  Tell your child that, within 12 weeks, he should expect to be provided instructions for picking up a his fair and equal share of the treats he collected after ACORN officials finish counting all of the collected collected candies (wipe tears); and

5.  Tell your child that the scenario above offers them a glimpse of what the future in the United States will look like if socialism is allowed to flourish (wipe tears for last time) and that he can keep his children from having to experience such pain by voting for — and by encouraging others to vote for — conservatives whose values line up with those of this country’s founders and the framers of the U.S. Constitution.