USDA Tells Magician to Write Disaster Plan for His Rabbit

An Ozark, Mo.-based magician whose story about being harassed by USDA Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service agents (a.k.a., “Rabbit Police”) was one of three stories highlighted in an article two years ago, Marty Hahne contacted me today with an update.Rabbit Kill Cook Eat 2 6-28-13“You won’t believe what the USDA has come up with now,” Hahne wrote in an email message late Friday afternoon. If this wasn’t so stupid, it would be funny!”

He went on to share details about his continued harassment by the USDA — all for using a three-pound rabbit in his magic act:

My USDA rabbit license requirement has taken another ridiculous twist. I just received an 8 page letter from the USDA, telling me that by July 29 I need to have in place a written disaster plan, detailing all the steps I would take to help get my rabbit through a disaster, such as a tornado, fire, flood, etc. They not only want to know how I will protect my rabbit during a disaster, but also what I will do after the disaster, to make sure my rabbit gets cared for properly.  I am not kidding–before the end of July I need to have this written rabbit disaster plan in place, or I am breaking the law.

In his email message, Hahne also explained the timeline via which he must comply: 1) the new regulation became effective Jan. 30, 2012; 2) the written plan must be completed by July 29, 2013; 3) Hahne and his wife, Brenda, must be trained to implement the plan as written; and 4) the written plan must be available for review by USDA inspectors by Sept. 28, 2013.

In a reply to Hahne, I suggested he put a tag around his rabbit’s neck that spells out the plan (i.e., “kill, cook, eat”) for anyone who finds his rabbit after a disaster.  NOTE:  My high school son, the artist, put my idea of a plan into the graphic above, but I doubt it will satisfy the USDA.

If stories like this one irk you, contact your elected officials in Washington, D.C., and tell them to tell the hare-brained folks at the USDA it’s time for them to stop chasing rabbits!

UPDATE 6/29/2013 at 9:35 p.m. Central:  Here’s a copy of the 13-page letter (PDF) Marty received from the USDA.  Note the salutation on the letter: “Dear Members of Our Regulated Community.”  So personal!  [CORRECTION 6/30/13 6:35 a.m. Central Note: Last night I accidentally uploaded the wrong file a the PDF and someone let me know this morning.  Now, the right file is linked to the PDF above.  And it turned out to be more than 8 pages.  Sorry.]

UPDATE 6/29/2013 at 9:56 p.m. Central:  It’s gone viral!  See:  A Lot of People Are Interested in USDA Disaster Plans for Rabbits.

Bob McCarty is the author of Three Days In August (Oct '11) and THE CLAPPER MEMO (May '13). To learn more about either book or to place an order, click on the graphic above.

Bob McCarty is the author of Three Days In August (Oct ’11) and THE CLAPPER MEMO (May ’13). To learn more about either book or to place an order, click on the graphic above.

This entry was posted in Chasing Rabbits, Limited Government, Missouri News and tagged , , , by BobMcCarty. Bookmark the permalink.

About BobMcCarty

A native of Enid, Oklahoma, Bob McCarty graduated from Oklahoma State University with a degree in journalism in 1984. During the next two decades, he served stints as an Air Force public affairs officer, a political campaign manager, a technology sales consultant and a public relations professional. Today, Bob spends most of his time researching topics, writing about them and publishing those writings. When he’s not writing online, he’s working as an author. Bob’s first published book, Three Days In August: A U.S. Army Special Forces Soldier’s Fight For Military Justice (October 2011), chronicles the life story and wrongful conviction of Sgt. 1st Class Kelly A. Stewart, a highly-decorated Green Beret combat veteran. In his second book, THE CLAPPER MEMO (May 2013), Bob connects the dots between a memo signed by James R. Clapper Jr. — the man now serving as our nation’s top intelligence official — and the deaths of dozens of Americans in Afghanistan at the hands of our so-called Afghan “allies” wearing the uniforms of their nation’s military, police and security forces. Bob is married, has three sons and lives in the St. Louis area. Bob is available for media and blogger interviews. Simply drop a comment here, leaving your name, organization, phone number, e-mail address and area of interest. He’ll try to respond as soon as possible.

62 thoughts on “USDA Tells Magician to Write Disaster Plan for His Rabbit

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  5. Dear USDA

    The Plan: I am a magician. In case of an emergency or disaster I will make my rabbit disappear. When the disaster is over I will pull him back out of my hat.



    PS: My rabbit and I are already fully trained in doing this plan. So well in fact I can even do it blind folded.

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  11. Mr. Hahne should go with this and see how far he can carry it. It would be fun and informative for a lot of people.

    He should request funding to develop and implement the contingency plan without mentioning he has only one rabbit.

    See how far he can carry it before some bureaucrat realizes they are being held up for ridicule. Might just have a positive outcome when the story is sent to a few congressional representatives.

    This is unbelievable what our tax money is paying for while we go further and further in the hole, while the government whines they don’t have the money for Social Security and other necessary programs.

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