Before the day is over, I fully expect presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton will attempt to place blame for this morning’s 5.2 Midwest earthquake squarely on the shoulders of President George W. Bush and their Republican rival, John McCain.
In an attempt to beat the dueling Democrats to this ludicrous punch, I offer below what I expect they will claim to be the “Top Six Reasons Why Republicans Are to Blame for Today’s Midwest Earthquake“:
- If it wasn’t for President Bush’s No Child Left Behind Act, his “tax cuts for the rich” and his Global War on Terror, adequate funds would have been available to fund successful earthquake prevention research at the U.S. Geological Survey;
- The earthquake occurred as a result of non-union labor being involved in the earth’s construction process;
- An increase in domestic oil well drilling activity caused the earth’s tectonic plates to shift:
- Halliburton won a no-bid government contract that gave it the right to cause the earthquake;
- An increase in global temperatures caused the earth’s tectonic plates to expand, resulting in a quake; and, finally, Democrats claim,
- Karl Rove orchestrated the hold thing from his deep-below-ground bunker in Texas.